where the mind goes, the chi will follow

There are moments in your life, that you call breakthroughs. In chinese astrology, there is a method of BaZi, which basically takes all the numbers connected to your birth, and after detailed calculations, the output graph can be analyzed and interpreted to determine when and how such moments will appear in your life. I don’t really know what to think about it. I always used to think that while there is some randomness in our life, we have the power and the will to really get a lot of control over ourselves and our fate. Such belief lead me to the place I am right now. However, occasionally, I am amazed about the completely random, unexpected, wild and full of hope moments or timespans that occur in our life, which brings something new into the existenence and sometimes even can shatter the cornerstone of it.

I’ve just came back from Taijiquan/Fengshui summer camp in Łopuszna (small highlander village in southern Poland). I wanted to go there even few months ago, and my mind was set up to go. Days passed, and it was closer and closer to the date, and I was anxious and nervous about it. Such trips always put you into some uncertanity. I enjoy those moments. You are completely in control – you can run away, turn back, change your mind, you can keep going, experience. But simultaneously, you are completely out of control too – beacuse you are in new place, with people you don’t know, sometimes even told what to do – such situation may lead to this particular mindstate, where you just follow, and observe as from third party, all the things that are happening right now. That was how I felt during this camp, I think.

I could tell you a lot about taiji or fengshui, and how this intense and long meeting influenced me on several layers (even despite the fact, I’m practicing taiji for over a year now). I could tell you how unbelievable my both teachers and masters were and how big progress I’ve done during those days. But it’s not about this. If you know me, you can always ask. But even then, I’m quite afraid, I won’t be able to give you an anwser you will be satisfied with. I just cannot. I’m trying to verbalize this very special state of mind, and I’m failing every time. Lots of things cause this. Meeting with the eastern culture, chinese especially, would be certainly on of those things. Intense taiji and qigong practice would be the second one, very important one, as I’ve gathered insane amounts of will and good energy, to keep practicing and working with body and mind. The third thing, however, most important, I guess, would be the extraordinary people I had the honor and pleasure to meet and to talk and have fun with.

I’m not familiar with the overall atmosphere of such camps. Maybe it’s just natural thing, that such people meet in such places. It’s not that easy to sacrifice a week of your life, organize your work and home to be completely outside during this time, and not just to hang around and lie in sun, but doing it very very actively. That of course bring the conclusion, that people who decided to do this, are special people. And, yes, in most cases, I have to agree. Those people were (are) very different, yet unique.

Among people I’ve met, few pictures for you  :

  • a girl who lives outside major cities and does not have the chance to practive taiji with teacher. She never been practicing it at all, but she loves that and always wanted to try. The will and passion (but also well-suited body) which this girl showed thrills me. She wanted to learn so badly, to squeeze everything from every moment, as she knew, that it won’t be easy do take part in such camp in near future. And, believe me, as for few days, she learned freaking lot and she can be proud of herself
  • a couple with a child. Their behaviour was so incredible that I doubt I will ever meet similiar people in my life again. Their love for their child and partner was just flowing around. They were never angry, never unhappy, always smiling, and joking, always in extraordinary mood. They were talking to their child, joking with him and about him, without even slightest shade of annyoance (which is quite common when you deal with little baby).
  • another couple, being (so it seems) opposites, one : tall, silent, calm, other : small, talkative, vigorous, loving adventures and travels around the world to visit new places and meet foreign people. Browsing through their vast photo collection, I could only sigh that I couldn’t be there.
  • a girl, who is approx. in my age, but she is short and tiny. Seems like having no faith in herself at all and no certanity about her actions. But you should see her, when she is practicing taiji – completely different person. Very confident.
  • another girl, older than me, who apprently came there to take a breath, to think about her life and to gather some directions about where to head next in her life. Very intelligent, subtle and wise. I love her voice, very deep, calming and relaxing. Kill me, I don’t know why, but I’m connecting her to an Opal stone.
  • another girl, who I still have trouble to describe. Silent, calm, but on the other hand, very funny, confident. I don’t remember the time I laughed so much, as with her. Yet my impression is that she is also somewhat lost and not that confident (inside) as she could be. Once again something missing. I still have one image (in mind) of her, smiling while dancing, and this is quite touching image.

At the end, I’ve been told that apparently, each one of us came there looking (internally) for something, and it all went this magic way, that each on of us got that thing he/she looked for, and even something else, something unexpected as bonus. That is quite good description of so-called magic, we’ve been witnessing there. Maybe it’s the nature of the excersises that people are suddendly very openminded, but also openhearted too. Embracing whatever may come. All things just mixed together. I could picture this as shifting of priorities. All of sudden I’ve realized that there are things more important, that things we thought were important. While this can be a bit disturbing, the final effect is tremendous (as long as you are ready to accept the concequences and be ready for risks). I don’t know if this was just a single event, a happy set of stars, that allowed us to interact so (yes!) deeply. Maybe when (if) we meet again, we won’t be able to get that spark again, to call back this feeling and pursue it – being just different persons then, that are not connected in any way. Maybe. It would be silly not to think about it. But, if, imagine, only if, it works on a higher lever, and if we meet again, we can regain control this relation and lift it even higher. It all comes from how do you feel about it, and if your mind is set to do some things or to believe some things. Master Choy said : “where the mind goes, the chi will follow” – and this is a strong metaphor for me, picturing that if we devote some will and mind, we might be able to do unbelivable things. And it all starts with mind. Don’t you forget that. Your mind is the most precious and beautiful part of the mechanism.

I would like to express my deepest thanks to people who made this trip such extraordinary for me : L./K. Szarek, mistrz Ziemba, mistrz Choy, Mateusz, Marta, Małgosia. I look forward to see you again people, because even despite the “Let it be” rule, I’m not letting this go! Let it be the way it started.

~ by rattkin on Thu, August 9.

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